Posted by: taliac | September 27, 2008

Top Gear Revenge

As you may have realized by now, my dad and brothers are very into cars. Not just cars, but model cars. Instead of spending money on useful things, like books, movies, clothes, and shoes, they spend way too much money on model cars, way too much time painting and improving them to make them look even more expensive, and way too much emotional energy trying to preserve them from harm. And then, perhaps even worse than all these things, there’s Top Gear.

Top Gear is a moronic British television show, where extremely annoying and puerile British 40 year olds do stupid things in stupid sports cars, while spouting a continual stupid commentary. My dad gets on Youtube, and everyone in the family except for me and my mom gathers round to watch countless old Top Gear episodes.

And I silently put up with it – until today. Today, I finally cracked. A dizzy, nauseous feeling overpowered me. I can’t remember what happened next, but when I came to my senses, this was on the iMac screen. For your enjoyment, the next exciting episode of “Top Gear”…



  1. What an impertinent female! I think someone with a y chromosome should dip her pigtail in an inkwell — if she had pigtails and if anyone could find an inkwell.

  2. OK, just give up and rename the blog whatever Talia wants. Within a year she will be responsible for all your blog fame. Then you can sell ads and she can pay your mortgage for you.

  3. Oh, Talia, do I feel your pain. Just be glad you folks own no television too or there would never be a moment when it is not playing with a group of empty-minded zombies around it. There is no hope for that strain of humanity!!!

    Nice job on the YouTube piece.

  4. What? No jokes about The Stig? No “Cool Wall”? No lap times leader board?

    So much lost opportunity. Oh, the things you could have done with that British accent. And I must admit that your Lamborghini’s “Neon” steering wheel is hilarious.

    But being a girl, you appear to more greatly resemble Vicky Butler-Henderson of the much less cool Top Gear spin-off (yes, Talia, there is a spin-off) “Fifth Gear” than you do the brilliantly mad Clarkson or the Hamster or Captain Slow.

    Top Gear puerile? Maybe. But it’s also delicious and hilarious and witty. Where else can you hear a line like, “This car is on a constant mission to head-butt the horizon”? You’ve hardly done justice to the sublime loftiness of Clarkson’s turns of phrase.

    Obviously, you haven’t seen enough of the show. May I suggest a few YouTube viewings?

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