Posted by: mattcolvin | July 7, 2009

Burgling Bungling

Naomi committed an act of theft this morning. Swiping Aedan’s wallet, she took it up to her room and removed what she probably supposed was the prettiest bill from it — a $1, comically enough. Not being a very accomplished thief, she took this lonely bill out of Aedan’s wallet, put it in her own, and then left both wallets sitting next to each other on her dresser.

Naomi was apprehended by Talia after a split-second’s detective work, then was prosecuted before me as I sat in my curule chair; was swatted on her bum, and has repaid the money. She will also be doing some chores for Aedan in place of the double restitution that she owes.

It’s a grace that God doesn’t give kids much brains until they’ve had time to act on their sinful impulses in an incompetent manner.



  1. Reminds me of my first (and last) shoplifting experience. I was about 3 or 4 when I swiped a Brachs caramel from a candy bin at the grocery store. It didn’t occur to me that pulling the candy out of my pocket to enjoy in the car wasn’t the best way to avoid getting caught. Back into the store my father and I went, where he explained to the manager what happened then had me pay for the candy. I imagine there were other repercussions as well, but if so I’ve successfully blocked them from my memory. I still like caramels, though.

  2. Her hair is still blonde!!! What can you expect?

  3. To quote my dear old pal the Joker, this family deserves a better class of criminal.

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