Posted by: mattcolvin | August 28, 2009

Student Bloopers

As a high school teacher, I am in a position to collect student bloopers, of the sort that Richard Lederer made famous with his collected History of the World According to Student Bloopers. (Warning: it is difficult to read without tears of hilarity.)

I don’t have as many as Lederer, but I have been collecting for a few years. Antiquities is the most fertile field for discovering bloopers. Here are the best I have:

“”Most intact Greek pottery comes from Egyptian [sic, Etruscan] tombs in Northern Italy.”

“Ostracism” derives its name from the Greek ostrakon, meaning “pothead.””

Quiz question: On what annual occasion was Attic tragedy performed?
Student’s answer: When someone died.

“When his pontoon bridge broke apart in a storm, Xerxes ordered his men to punish the Hellespont by wiping it.” (Must have used super-absorbent Brawny paper towels.)

“When Odysseus had washed up on the island of Scheria, the princess Nausicaa and her maidens were playing ball, and they woke him up with their racquet.” Ouch. I hope for his sake the frame was wooden, not graphite.

“In order to enter the underworld, Aeneas must first pluck the golden harp.” Er, no, that’s Jack and the Beanstalk.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s