Posted by: mattcolvin | January 15, 2010

Student Bloopers 2

Here’s another installment of choice student bloopers from the (usually very competent and sharp) students at Mars Hill Academy. Names have been concealed to protect the easily embarrassed.

“Augustine was a very prominent Christian in the early church. In his earlier years, he fell in with a group called the Maccabees who had certain Gnostic viewpoints.” Um, no, those would be the Manichees. I now have a mental picture of Augustine waging war against Antiochus Epiphanes. The staggering “Captain Obvious” opening — “Augustine was a very prominent Christian in the early church” — makes this one extra-special.

“The Greeks had a certain way of fighting called hop-light warfare. Many of the warriors were farmers who owned their own set of armor that weighed from 60-80 pounds.” No, you won’t be hopping lightly with 80 pounds on your back.

“Creon is the brother of Jocasta, who is the husband and wife of Oedipus.” Wow. That’s even more complicated than Oedipus’ real family tree.



  1. A paper like this in every twenty-five normal ones makes teaching extra bearable.

  2. Here are some of my favorites:

    Beowulf was a great worrier…

    Julius Caesar breaded horses…

    Jesus preached with the same goals as Jesus…

    Dying for honor also leads to death…

    Tarquin was hottie…

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